Wow...
Have I mentioned how much I love this guy?
He sees everything in me that I don't... and he's got this.. light inside him.. I just know that he's going to go on to do even greater things and it makes me so proud to be with him even though sometimes it makes me feel like he's too good for me. When I'm with him... that darker side of me. That angry, strange, frightening side of me quiets down. I see who he sees when he looks at me and it makes me feel.. normal.
Today Callie let him take me out for breakfast and we told her we were going to the arcade and then to a movie.. but instead we went back to his house. First it really was for breakfast. He made waffles and they were delicious! But well, then of course we started making out and eventually we got to his room and finally I told him... I wanted to make love.
He was surprised. I had never said it like that before and even though I'd come on to him many times we never actually did it because he wanted it to be special. At first I was like who cares! Of course it will be special because it'll be us and it would be our first time, but he turned me down a few times.. but today was perfect. We were alone in this beautiful beach house on a gorgeous day.. so..
He went to the store and got a few things while I straightened up the room and put on some music and got undressed and waited under the covers.. I chose the song Close by Nick Jonas even though the lyrics don't exactly fit because neither of us is pushing the other away. It's just a really good song.
It was beautiful. I mean, we started like normal. Making out and stuff. Fooling around a little. He tried 3 condoms before he was finally able to get one on! lol Then things got serious and.. okay I'll admit it, I cried a little. It wasn't because he was hurting me or anything, it was because all of the crap that lead up to this moment and we were finally together. Completely. And now I can't stop smiling.
